hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
