I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
