If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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