you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
