I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
