Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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