never play flip cup with pint glasses
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
