dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
