You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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