Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
