just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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