It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize