sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
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Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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