I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
