She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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