hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
