Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
