I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
