He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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