Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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