So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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