whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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