This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
