As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
ttyl tear gas
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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