You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
