so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
