You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
