it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
