when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
