What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
