I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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