I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
