i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
