we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
