my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She announced her abortion via fbk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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