I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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