i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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