we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
