Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
