Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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