So drunk its hurt
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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