Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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