I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
