Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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