Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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