You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
did i walk over a car last night?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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