Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
