I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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