Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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