O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
