Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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