After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize