The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
