SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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