You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
