wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
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Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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