At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize