We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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